Ryan
As I sat down with Ryan over coffee the underlining theme of our conversation was change. I was reminded that life is constantly changing and at times we cannot control what happens to us in our lives, we only can control how we react.
Ryan is currently in a transitional period as he looks to become an attorney at law, and is preparing to take the BAR exam for the second time. But growing up Ryan didn't always dream of becoming a lawyer. In fact it hadn't even crossed his mind. From an early age Ryan said he always wanted to be a pilot for the United States Air Force. A big inspiration for his desire to become a pilot was because both of his grandfathers were pilots.
While in high school he did exceedingly well on the ASVAB and was on his way to entering the Air Force, but suffered a seizure at the age of eighteen, making him ineligible to ever become a pilot in the Air Force. "I was about to give a speech in class when I had a seizure," says Ryan. Feeling lost and facing the uncertainty of his future he turned to a lifestyle of partying as an escape.
"Even though I was partying a lot I was always really good in school." Ryan went to Antelope Valley College and casually joined the debate team and did exceedingly well. He then went on to attend Cal State Fullerton and once had a heated debate over Plato's "Allegory of the Cave" with a professor during a philosophy class. His professor later recommend that Ryan join mock trial at the university because of his sagacious mind and excellent debating skills. He then received a scholarship to Western State College of Law. Ryan recounts the time he, along with his girlfriend and pit bull, Finch, lived in their car for the first couple of weeks of law school, as they just moved from Ventura and were looking for a place to live.
Ryan opens up about another difficult and unexpected time in his life, while in his last year of law school, he found out his girlfriend was pregnant with another man's baby. "My heart was in my feet," says Ryan as he recounts the moment he found out the news over the phone. I can only imagine the heartache and whirlwind of emotions Ryan had to endure during this time. When many would act out in anger or spite, or abandon the relationship and situation, Ryan found compassion deep down in himself to take in his girlfriend's newborn baby as his own. He said he instantly fell in love with her when he first got her at two months old. "There's something special about a baby falling asleep on your chest." They just recently celebrated her second birthday. Ryan and his girlfriend have been continuously working on repairing their relationship and are optimistic about their future with their daughter. Ryan has said that he has gained a new perspective on life after this experience.
He expresses that he is more compassionate and sympathetic towards people, especially the less fortunate because his younger brother is homeless due to his schizophrenia. Ryan speaks fondly of his brother's adventures hopping trains and traveling the country to take pictures of graffiti art. He looked up to his brother for pursuing his passion. "We haven't heard from him in six months and his mom fears the worst." Ryan looks to one day open a center to aid homeless people to find employment by supplying clothes and other resources that will help them secure a job.
When asked what piece of advice he would give his younger self he replied "Take care of your health. Don't take your well being for granted. Appreciate your loved ones around you."
Before he dies he wants to start a family, and help the people around him. "I want to buy my mom a house," says Ryan.
Our conversation ended with Ryan joyfully showing me countless pictures and videos of his daughter and his adventures with her. His love for her is radiant and pierces through the darkness of his past and through any shadows of fear, sorrow and hate. Love does transcend all if we allow it to.
90 stories to go.
